don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
