does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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