Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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