i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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