i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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