forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
