don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
