If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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