i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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