His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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