perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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