This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
