I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
