she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
