the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
did you just send me my own nude
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
