Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
