saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me I should be a condom model.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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