I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
