Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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