She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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