I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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