yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
