So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
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stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
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At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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