his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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