so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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