I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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