make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
