Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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