He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have demons in me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So apparently I’m into choking now
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
