Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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