If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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