He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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