sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
