i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
