Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
