he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
