Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
