I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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