I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
