I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
