it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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