I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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