I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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