THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
