You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
