Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I party with great urgency now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize