you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
