hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have fence marks all over my body
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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