I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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