Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You work out of a Hotel?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
