My brain says no but my pants say off.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
