no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
