And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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