Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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