Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
