I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I want is dick and wine.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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