You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
