matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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