somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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