We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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